Apparently all I’ve been doing is watch movies, play Call of Duty and sleep. As I continue to grow, I’ve come to realize that only the little things matter these days. What I feel and think about myself is what I give importance. What you think and feel about me,well I cant speak for you to me its nothing of importance.
As I write this is, it’s exactly 16 day to the day I was supposedly brought into this world. I know it sounds girlish or girly to be talking about birthdays but this is the part that makes it manly, I’ve never been a birthday party person, I don’t like them,or maybe I have never had one in my honor. For God’s sake why do you need that? Once you are born its like that. Surfer if you have to. The next important day is when yo die or the day you mark 25 years of surviving in a marriage. Hell you don’t even need to create those what’s app groups and shit. I don’t know know if they even still exist but to hell with you man if you live in that kind of ideology. Am not just for birthday parties. Or what do you think about all that am I being something you wanna tell me? Ha! Ha!
Now, I want to make things right. If I hurt your feelings with what I just said am sorry. Alright remember I just said only the little things matter this days? Well I just decided to celebrate myself 16 days before the date I was allegedly born,on second thought it’s just a tip off,ha! ha!… snitching on myself . Because on that day I’ll probably be offline,sipping some good stuff and smiling to those recurrent Mpesa messages. What you do with this information is all up to you but remember you are God’s child and I am too and God’s children love each other
1. I need a book,Thursday’s by Biko Zulu. If I get that for my birthday,God knows I will change my view on birthdays. Hell I can celebrate that book too every year! “The day Thursday’s came into myself “ Boy I’ll read that book to my kids,you know what it could mean for me? Whoever does that for me, his/her name will be curved on my heart with a hot wire forever like those tattoos we drew on our skin when we were young with hot wires or repeatedly rubbing our skin with a matchstick hopping to be like Lil Wayne in his Lollipop days. On the first page please write “To my friend Bob….” or if you are in-love with me or you have a hidden feeling about me you could write “To my love Bob,Thursdays are always boring but not with Biko Zulu! And because of that receive this book from yours truly/loving…” (you’ll know what to use loving) For this,I love you. Hehe..
2. This should have been at the top of my list. You might as well just imagine it is. Count your blessings no matter what they are. Doesn’t matter what it is. Big or small, make it special for yourself it doesn’t matter if it’s important to anyone else or not! Y’all know what I mean.
3. When that day comes,22nd July. Wooh. I’ll be accepting Mpesa gifts, or any form of money transfer. Wire it to my account or phone number. Remember God blesses the hand that giveth than the hand that receives (th). Yooh make my 20s memorable.
4. I love Whiskey. Though I take Vodka and Gin too. And take this into great consideration, If it’s whiskey,its gotta be Single malt Irish whiskey! When it comes to this,sometimes we apparently don’t get to choose. But give me a call,I’ll pick it and hit the road but don’t drown me in beer or keg.
5. Am gonna drop my email at the bottom of this blog. God knows my employer might be reading this. If you’ve got a job hit me up. Probably not the best kind of job application you’d want to receive, but am in my free space right now probably not the time for a Dear Sir/Madam moment after all. I hope you understand.
6. Too much of something thing is bad. But too much of good whiskey is barely enough. This is a little quote from Mark Twain I saw going about my business on the internet and I thought I should let y’all know. Hope you love it buddies. Am as clueless as you are to who this Mark Twain is.
7. Last time I went swimming it rained. “Kuogelea” is a No No! Not ever
8. Several centuries ago in Holland Tulips were more valuable than gold! Wtf? How the hell can that even be possible?
9. Two and a Half Men. Boy, the best situation comedy apart from Friends I’ve ever watched.
10. If any case I want to go back to Ngong. By the book this time. If any of my boys is reading this, they all know what I mean.
11. If this was a history test and the question was “Abraham Lincoln signed the emancipation proclamation in_______” then you answer “pen.” find the humor!
12. Where the hell did all those illuminati stories go? Hell my teen days were so terrifying. For once I get to admit. Jesus,I was even afraid to sing “kimoyomoyo.” hope kids in high school are not going through these old bullshit.
13. The “ntakufinya” guy is my hero from now hence forth. Come to think of it. I think I should do something silly on the internet and wait for it to blow up after ten or thirty years. Whatever that “ntakufinya” guy did is the true meaning of patience. In the back of his head somewhere he knew one day he’ll blow up and eventually ask for “compensation” for appearing on tv. Kenyans just know when its the best time for you to blow up. I keep my faith in them,ha! ha!
14. In a normal car,Americans or those white people call the accelerator the “Gas” like step on the gas or hit the gas. What about in an electric car? Electricity I guess.
15. Hunters Choice is the true meaning of the devils work. Never putting it in my mouth again.
16. I know at one point in the near future I’ll regret saying this. At one point I thought of or rather dreamt of dating a “mzungu.” This might probably get me hanged!
17. If you are not listening to WAKADINALI, bruh you gotta get your brain checked. What I’m waiting from them is a “just them” concert. Can’t wait! Sure it will be the best night of my life. God am already foreseeing an epic show!
18. Crazy Kennar is apparently better than Flaco. Debate. (20 Marks)
19. If I miss something its my high school days. When love was unconditional. All you had to offer was words and things were just great. Brings me to the next point.
20. If a girl takes you out on a date and pays for it,bruh, you are in the little boys room. You have to reciprocate lil hommie. It’s simple advice. Don’t spend your money on people who don’t spend on you. Especially Women
21. Again,the gifts should be through Mpesa,except for the books and the aged whiskey!
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